“Nobody wants to play with me.”

Five words. One heartbreak. A sentence no parent ever forgets.

This week, we’re peeling back the curtain on one of the most gut-wrenching parts of the ADHD journey—friendships. The missed invites. The awkward playdates. The big emotions that get misread, and the even bigger hope that maybe, this time, they’ll be included.

But here’s the twist most people miss: a lot of those social struggles? They’re not just behavioral. They’re biological.

When we start calming inflammation and teaching the body to regulate itself, everything shifts. Meltdowns lessen. Emotions balance. And friendships—real, beautiful friendships—start to form.

If you’ve been feeling stuck in the “why is this so hard?” loop, this one’s for you. 💛

"Can I Play Too?" The Hidden ADHD Friendship Struggle (And the Science-Backed Fix No One’s Talking About)

Let me paint a picture.

You’re at the park. Your child spots a group of kids playing tag. They sprint over, full of joy, arms flailing like an inflatable car wash dancer. 

"Can I play too?" they shout.

The other kids pause. One shrugs. Another whispers, "Last time he didn’t stop chasing me."

And just like that—BOOM 💔—your child is on the outside looking in. Again.

I’ve been there. And I want to shout this from the rooftops: This isn’t because you’ve done anything wrong. Your child is wired differently—and with the right tools and support, they can thrive socially and emotionally.

ADHD and Friendships: Why It Feels So Hard

ADHD kids are the spark in the room. They’re the wild, wonderful, big-hearted dynamos that make the world colorful. But let’s be honest…they often struggle socially. Not because they don’t want friends. Not because they’re “bad.” But because:

• Impulse control is tough. They might shout, grab, interrupt.

• Emotions explode like shaken soda cans.

• Reading the room? Not their superpower… yet.

And because of that, other kids may pull away.

Oof. It stings. It’s isolating. And it can chip away at their confidence like waves on a sandcastle.

🔬 What the science says: Did you know that chronic inflammation affects how your child thinks, feels, and behaves, often making ADHD symptoms WORSE?! 

A 2021 study in Biomedicines, for example, discusses how inflammation plays a role in ADHD symptoms.

Inflammation can affect irritability, anxiety, impulsivity, and yes—even social struggles in kids with ADHD.

That’s because inflammation messes with the brain's ability to function at its best. When their little bodies are inflamed, everything feels louder, harder, and more chaotic.

Now let’s flip it. When we reduce inflammation through reducing the toxic load, making dietary changes, adding in targeted supplements, doing some gut healing, and tweaking the lifestyle...

➡️ Kids get calmer.

➡️ Emotions get more manageable.

➡️ And social interactions get smoother.

And the kicker? 🤯 

Kids in our ADHD Thrive Method 4 Kids program often start making more friends once we get the inflammation under control. Their brains can finally connect the dots. Their hearts can finally shine through. 

Watch this mom’s story of how her son finally started making friends after they reduced the inflammation in his body. 

Real Talk: Oliver’s Turnaround

I’ve mentioned my son, Oliver, in this newsletter before. Do you remember him…my whirlwind of a son who was diagnosed with ADHD at an early age? 

Once we addressed his gut health (spoiler: his inflammation was off the charts!), everything shifted.

He could pause before reacting.

He could apologize without screaming.

And one magical afternoon, he got his first real birthday party invite from a classmate. 🥹

He walked in, held his gift proudly, and played—yes, actually played—with a group of kids for two whole hours.

That was the moment I knew: this natural path works.

And I’ve seen a similar transformation happen in many of the families we have worked with since then! 

How To Help Your Child Make (and Keep!) Friends

You don’t need to wait for the stars to align. Here's what you can start doing today:

1. Reduce Inflammation (Yes, It Matters for Friendships!)

Start small:

• Cut out highly processed snacks and artificial dyes (if you feel ready to take it one step further, cut out gluten and dairy too, as these are highly inflammatory foods!) 

• Add in more micronutrient-rich foods like whole, fresh fruits and vegetables 

• Load up on healthy fats and grass fed and wild caught protein sources 

Your child’s brain will thank you. So will their social life.

2. Practice Social Scripts Like a Broadway Rehearsal

Teach your child lines like:

• “Can I join?”

• “That made me feel sad.”

• “Wanna take turns?”

Make it silly. Act it out. Use puppets if you must. Practicing it often outside of the moment is what will make it stick! 

Check out these Social Situation cards! They’re perfect for creating conversations with your child about how to handle certain social situations appropriately! 

Or, check out this Chat Chains Game that teaches social skills to kids in a fun way! Or this Social Skills board game! 

3. Plan Short, Sweet, Structured Playdates

Start with 30–45 minutes. Choose one activity (think puzzles, baking, building a fort). End on a high note.

4. Teach Emotional Self-Regulation (In Fun Ways!)

Did you read last week’s newsletter on teaching emotional regulation skills to your ADHD child? If not, you definitely want to check it out here for practical tips and tricks to make it easier! 

A couple of our favorite tools that we like to use to teach emotional self-regulation are weighted stuffed animals or lap pads. These are perfect for when they need a sensory “hug” after a tough social moment.

5. Find Their Tribe

Neurodiverse kids often connect better with kids who get them. Look for local social skills groups or ADHD-friendly meetups if you’re struggling to find your tribe through school or other activities you are already part of. 

✨ The Big Lesson?

Friendships aren’t out of reach.

Your child doesn’t need to change who they are. They just need tools, support, and a little less inflammation gumming up the works.

When their brain isn’t in fight-or-flight, it can finally settle into connect and play.

And THAT is where the magic happens.

Let’s Chat: Has your child’s behavior changed after addressing inflammation or nutrition? Got a sweet “my kid made a friend!” story?

Reply and let me know. I LIVE for those wins. 🙌

"Social Freeze Dance" – A Game for Building Social Skills

Turn your living room into a social-emotional learning lab with this high-energy game that builds self-regulation, listening, and turn-taking—all essential friendship tools.

How to play:

Play fun music (anything from Baby Shark to Bruno Mars—your call or even let your child choose).

When the music stops, call out a social skill prompt like:

• “Show me a kind face!”

• “Freeze like you’re waiting your turn!”

• “Act out sharing your favorite toy!”

• “Pose like you're calming down after getting upset.”

Your child freezes in that pose. Do it together and laugh a LOT.

Why it works:

This game combines movement (which helps ADHD brains focus) with imaginative social rehearsal. You're not just talking about skills but instead you’re acting them out in a fun, no-pressure way. 

Bonus: It sneaks in mindfulness and impulse control too. 

Resource: The Zones of Regulation – At-Home Visual Toolkit 

If social situations often spiral because your child feels too much too fast, this simple color-coded system can be a total game-changer. Originally designed for classrooms by Leah Kuypers, The Zones of Regulation™ helps kids see and name their emotional states and choose tools to shift gears.

Here’s how it works:

🟦 Blue Zone: Low energy (sad, tired)

🟩 Green Zone: Calm, focused, ready to connect

🟨 Yellow Zone: Wiggly, worried, losing control

🟥 Red Zone: Out of control, angry, overwhelmed

🔬What the science says: 

Kids with ADHD don’t struggle in friendships because they don’t care—far from it. The real issue, according to research in the Journal of Abnormal Psychology,  is often emotional dysregulation. That turbo-charged nervous system can send them from 0 to meltdown in seconds, making it tough to read a room, take turns, or bounce back from a “no.”

This is where The Zones of Regulation™ comes in. Backed by neuroscience and social-emotional learning research, it teaches kids to recognize how they feel (before the blow-up), label it with color-coded zones, and practice simple, effective tools to shift states.

While the data is still growing, some studies have shown improvements in self-regulation and peer relationships after using the Zones framework, especially when paired with consistent parent and school support.

The takeaway is that when kids can name their feelings, they can change their behaviors. And that’s a giant leap toward better friendships.

How to use it at home:

Print a simple Zones chart (below) and hang it on the fridge. You might want to laminate it too! 

Add pictures of your child using calming strategies in each zone (deep breathing, squish ball, walk outside).

Use it daily before/after social situations to check in—"Which zone were you in when your friend didn’t want to play?” “What helped you get back to green?”

We’ve created a free printable Zones of Regulation cheat sheet just for you. Perfect for your fridge, a calm corner, or to take into IEP meetings! Grab it below! 

Would you prefer to have larger posters than the free download above? We found these Zone Posters on Amazon! Check them out.

Last week, we talked about how building resilience helps our kids bounce back faster, stronger, and with more self-trust.  This week, we heard from Megan, a mama in our community who shared this powerful win:

“After my son melted down at a playdate and stormed out yelling ‘I’m never coming back!’, I wanted to cry right along with him. But the next day, I read the email on emotional resilience tools—especially the Try Again Tickets. I printed this off and gave him one and then talked about how he could have done things differently. He asked to write a note to his friend apologizing. That was huge! And then last night, his friend invited him over again.”

That, right there, is resilience in motion. It’s not about being meltdown-free (though that would be nice, right?!) Instead, it’s about helping our kids get up, try again, and reconnect with heart and courage.

Have a moment like this to share? Big or small, we’d love to hear it.

Reply with your win from this week! 

Anand Deepa , Colpo Gabriela D. , Zeni Gregory , Zeni Cristian P. , Teixeira Antonio L. “Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder And Inflammation: What Does Current Knowledge Tell Us? A Systematic Review.” Frontiers in Psychiatry, Volume 8, 2017. https://www.frontiersin.org/journals/psychiatry/articles/10.3389/fpsyt.2017.00228 doi 10.3389/fpsyt.2017.00228

Bunford N, Evans SW, Becker SP, Langberg JM. Attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder and social skills in youth: a moderated mediation model of emotion dysregulation and depression. J Abnorm Child Psychol. 2015 Feb;43(2):283-96. doi: 10.1007/s10802-014-9909-2. PMID: 25037460; PMCID: PMC6538387.

Dunn GA, Nigg JT, Sullivan EL. “Neuroinflammation as a risk factor for attention deficit hyperactivity disorder.” Pharmacol Biochem Behav. 2019 Jul;182:22-34. doi: 10.1016/j.pbb.2019.05.005. Epub 2019 May 16. PMID: 31103523; PMCID: PMC6855401.

Grossman Anna , Avital Avi. “Emotional and sensory dysregulation as a possible missing link in attention deficit hyperactivity disorder: A review” Frontiers in Behavioral Neuroscience, Volume 17, 2023. https://www.frontiersin.org/journals/behavioral-neuroscience/articles/10.3389/fnbeh.2023.1118937 doi 10.3389/fnbeh.2023.1118937

Naomi Lewis, Anthony Villani, Jim Lagopoulos, “Gut dysbiosis as a driver of neuroinflammation in attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder: A review of current evidence,” Neuroscience, Volume 569, 2025, https://doi.org/10.1016/j.neuroscience.2025.01.031.

Ramona Cardillo, Giulia Crisci, Stefano Seregni, Irene C. Mammarella, “Social perception in children and adolescents with ADHD: The role of higher-order cognitive skills,” Research in Developmental Disabilities, Volume 135, 2023, https://doi.org/10.1016/j.ridd.2023.104440.

Saccaro LF, Schilliger Z, Perroud N, Piguet C. “Inflammation, Anxiety, and Stress in Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder.” Biomedicines. 2021 Sep 24;9(10):1313. doi: 10.3390/biomedicines9101313. PMID: 34680430; PMCID: PMC8533349.