Parenting a child with ADHD is a wild ride, isn’t it—full of love, energy, and, let’s be honest… a little (or LOTS of) chaos. Some days feel like magic, and others? Like you’re putting out fires before breakfast. 🔥

If you’ve ever found yourself mid-meltdown (yours or your child’s) wondering, “Is there a better way?”—you’re in the right place. 

This week, we’re tackling one of the biggest ADHD parenting struggles: discipline that actually works.

Spoiler alert: It’s not about yelling or punishment. Instead, we’re leaning into strategies that build connection, teach life skills, and bring more peace to your home. Sound good? Grab your tea (or that third cup of coffee ☕), and let’s turn the tough moments into learning moments—together. 

5 Positive Discipline Strategies for Kids with ADHD

You’re running late for work, the school bus is pulling up, and your child is still barefoot, twirling in circles instead of putting on their shoes. 🥴 You feel the frustration bubbling up—why can’t they just focus and follow directions? The temptation to yell is real.

Sound familiar?  

Kids with ADHD often struggle with executive function—the brain's ability to plan, organize, and follow through on tasks. Research shows that traditional punishment-based discipline rarely helps in these situations. Instead, positive discipline—focusing on structure, support, and skill-building—teaches lifelong habits while strengthening your relationship with your child.

Ready to swap yelling for science-backed strategies that actually work? Let’s dive in! 🚀

1. Set Rules That Are Crystal Clear

Kids with ADHD don’t thrive with vague or complicated instructions. Their brains process information differently, making it harder to remember multi-step directions. Studies show that visual reminders and structured routines significantly improve follow-through. 

Think of it like a GPS for their day: clear directions make the journey smoother.

How to Make It Fun and Effective:

✅ Use colorful charts, posters, or a whiteboard to display routines. (We really like this one!) 

✅ Break tasks into small, clear steps. 

Instead of saying, “Clean your room,” try “Pick up toys, then put laundry in the basket.” 

Also try using a visual timer (like this one!) so your child can see how much time they have left for each task—whether it’s getting dressed, brushing teeth, or finishing breakfast. ADHD brains respond better to visual cues than verbal reminders alone!

✅ Repeat rules regularly—repetition helps solidify habits.

🔬 The Science Behind It:

According to research from Russell Barkley, Ph.D., a leading ADHD expert, kids with ADHD benefit from external structures that compensate for their difficulties with self-regulation. Clear, consistent expectations reduce stress and help them succeed. 

2. Praise Progress Like a Pro

Want your child to listen more? Catch them doing something right! 

Some experts suggest that kids with ADHD receive 20,000 more negative messages by the time they reach the age of 12 than their neurotypical peers. That’s why positive reinforcement is such a big deal! According to behavior studies, positive reinforcement is one of the most effective ways to encourage desired behaviors—and ADHD brains respond especially well to immediate feedback.

How to Make It Fun and Memorable:

⭐ Be specific with your praise: “You put away all your toys so quickly! Great job!” instead of “Good work.” 

⭐ Use small rewards like stickers, extra story time, or a favorite snack.

⭐ Make it fun—turn praise into a mini-celebration. Dance party, anyone? 💃🎵

🔬 The Science Behind It:

Studies have found that immediate rewards help reinforce behaviors more effectively for kids with ADHD than delayed consequences. Their brains release dopamine—a feel-good chemical—when they experience success, making them more likely to repeat the behavior. 

3. Use Consequences That Make Sense

Oops moments happen. Instead of punishing, use logical consequences that directly relate to the behavior. Think of it as connecting the dots between their actions and the outcome.

How to Keep It Fair and Calm:

🔹 If they spill juice and don’t clean it up, they help with cleanup. 🧽

🔹 If they forget homework, let them explain it to the teacher instead of swooping in.

🔹 Stay calm—remember, the goal is to teach, not punish.

🔬 The Science Behind It:

Psychologists emphasize that logical consequences help kids build responsibility without damaging self-esteem. When a child understands why a rule exists, they’re more likely to follow it in the future. 💡

4. Swap Time-Outs for Time-Ins

You know that moment when your child is completely overwhelmed—tears flowing, fists clenched, emotions exploding like an untamed storm? ⛈️ It’s tempting to send them to their room for a time-out, but here’s the problem: time-outs can feel like rejection. 

For kids with ADHD, who already struggle with emotional regulation, this can make meltdowns worse, not better.

Instead, try a time-in—a powerful way to help your child calm down with your support instead of feeling pushed away. It’s like offering them an emotional life raft instead of letting them drift off in rough waters. 🛟

How to Make Time-Ins Work:

✅ Create a "calm-down zone" with cozy pillows, fidget toys (like THESE!), or a favorite stuffed animal. 🧸 Think of it as a personal retreat, not a punishment.

✅ Stay close and say, “I see you’re upset. I’m here. Let’s figure this out together.” Your presence alone can help them regulate their emotions. 

✅ Practice deep breaths or mindfulness techniques. Have them blow imaginary bubbles or pretend they’re inflating a balloon—anything to slow their breathing and reset their emotions. 🌬️

🔬 The Science Behind It:

Co-regulation—when a parent helps a child manage their emotions—teaches self-soothing skills that ADHD kids may struggle to develop on their own. Instead of punishment, time-ins offer connection, safety, and emotional growth—all key ingredients for raising resilient kids. 

❤️ Time-outs can leave your child feeling isolated and misunderstood. A time-in flips the script by giving them a safe space to calm down with your support.

5. Teach Them to Solve Problems Like a Boss

Impulse control and problem-solving can be hard for ADHD brains. Ever seen your child grab a toy from a sibling before thinking of asking for a turn? Or blurt out an answer in class before considering if it’s right? That’s impulsivity at work—and while it’s a challenge, it’s also something they can learn to manage with practice.

Think of problem-solving like a muscle—the more we use it, the stronger it gets.  Instead of just saying "Don't do that!" when they make a mistake, teach them what to do instead.

How to Turn It into a Fun Lesson:

🎭 Role-play common tricky situations—like what to do if a friend doesn’t share or if they feel frustrated during homework. Practicing in calm moments makes it easier to handle real-life situations.

Use a simple problem-solving chart:

1️⃣ Pause and breathe. (This interrupts impulsivity!)

2️⃣ Think of three possible solutions. (Even silly ideas count!)

3️⃣ Pick the best one and try it. (Then talk about how it worked.)

Celebrate their effort! Even if they don’t get it right the first time, praise them for trying to solve the problem differently. 🎉

🔬 The Science Behind It:

Executive function expert Thomas Brown, Ph.D., explains that practicing decision-making in low-stress situations strengthens self-control and problem-solving abilities over time. When kids actively practice thinking before acting, they develop the skills to manage frustration, plan ahead, and make better choices in the future. 🚀

Final Thoughts: Connection Is Key

Parenting a child with ADHD can be a roller coaster. Some days, you feel like you’re nailing it. Other days? It’s meltdown city. 🎢 But no matter how your day is going today, know this: you’re not failing, and your child isn’t being "bad"—their brain is just wired differently.

When we swap frustration for understanding, we unlock their full potential. When we replace punishment with teaching, we build their confidence. And when we trade disconnection for connection, we create a relationship that will support them for life. 

So next time your child is dancing barefoot instead of getting ready, take a deep breath. Choose one of these strategies. And remind yourself: you’re doing an amazing job. 💕

Want EVEN MORE parenting strategies that are designed specifically for children with ADHD? 

The ADHD Thrive Jumpstart 4 Parenting online program provides parents with practical tips and tricks that actually work for neurodiverse children. 

Created with the help of our in-house Child and Family Therapist, this online program is THE GO-TO resource for parents of neurodiverse children.

<Check it out here> 

The 2-Minute Reset: A Quick Trick to Stay Calm in Tough Moments

Parenting a child with ADHD is like navigating a storm—one moment, the waters are calm, and the next, you’re in the middle of a category-five meltdown. 🌪️ When emotions are running high (yours and your child’s), your instinct might be to react—but what if you could hit the pause button instead?

Research shows that parental calm is contagious—when you stay centered, your child is more likely to mirror that energy. 

According to the Polyvagal Theory, developed by neuroscientist Dr. Stephen Porges, our nervous systems are wired for connection. When you regulate your emotions, it signals safety to your child, helping them calm down faster.

Here’s a science-backed, two-minute reset to help you respond instead of react when frustration strikes.

How to Do It:

🛑 Pause and Breathe – Stop what you’re doing, close your eyes if possible, and take three deep, intentional breaths:

Inhale for 4 seconds.

Hold for 4 seconds.

Exhale for 6 seconds.

This slows your heart rate and signals to your brain that you’re safe, which shuts off your fight-or-flight response. 

🗣️ Name the Feeling – Silently say, “I feel frustrated” or “I’m overwhelmed.” Studies show that naming emotions reduces their intensity by engaging the rational part of your brain (the prefrontal cortex) instead of letting the emotional brain take over. 

🎯 Choose Your Next Move – Ask yourself, “What does my child need from me right now?” It could be a calm voice, a gentle hug, or even a few moments of silence to collect yourself. This step shifts you from reacting to responding—a game-changer for de-escalating tough moments.

🔬 Why It Works:

✅ Stops the stress cycle – Deep breathing activates the vagus nerve, which calms your nervous system and reduces stress hormones. 

✅ Builds emotional regulation skills – Kids with ADHD learn by watching you. Your ability to stay calm models the behavior you want them to develop. 👀

✅ Prevents power struggles – Instead of reacting with anger or frustration, you’re choosing a response that builds trust and connection. 

Brain Bonus: Research from Dr. Daniel Siegel, author of The Whole-Brain Child, shows that when parents regulate their own emotions, kids feel more secure and are better able to manage their own feelings.

So next time the storm rolls in, take a deep breath, reset, and remind yourself: You are the anchor in your child’s chaos. ⚓ You’ve got this. 

Free Resource: ADHD-Friendly Morning Routine Checklist 🧰

Mornings in an ADHD households can be TOUGH! Shoes go missing, breakfast takes forever, and somehow, despite waking up on time, you’re still running late. 😵‍💫 Sound familiar?

Here’s the good news: chaos doesn’t have to be the default. With a little planning (and the right tools), your mornings can run smoother, calmer, and even—dare we say—pleasant! 

Today, we’ve got a couple of tools to help! 

Eliminate the ‘What should I wear?’ morning meltdown by prepping outfits ahead of time! A hanging closet organizer like this one with labeled sections for each day of the week makes choosing clothes effortless—and keeps the morning routine running smoothly.

AND…

A Free Downloadable ADHD-Friendly Morning Routine Checklist is your secret weapon for getting out the door on time—without the power struggles. It’s designed to keep kids (and parents!) on track while making mornings predictable, stress-free, and way more enjoyable. 🏆

What’s Inside the Checklist:

Simple, visual steps for a successful morning (e.g., “Brush teeth,” “Put on shoes,” “Grab lunchbox”)

How to Use It:

1. Print and post it somewhere visible, like on the fridge or your child’s bedroom door.

2. Go through the checklist together in the morning. Make it fun by checking off each task as they go.

3. Praise progress, even if it’s small—celebrate effort, not perfection! 🎉

Why It Works:

This resource makes mornings predictable and manageable by breaking tasks into bite-sized steps. It also helps build independence and reduces nagging—because let’s face it, nobody loves starting the day with a power struggle. 

Download your free checklist below and start your mornings on the right foot!

Last week, we talked about the ADHD-sleep struggle—those endless bedtime battles, restless nights, and early morning exhaustion. 😴 Well, one of our readers, Megan T., decided to put some of our tips into action, and the results were amazing!

Megan’s 9-year-old son, Jake, has always had a hard time winding down at night. “He would bounce around, ask for one more snack, and struggle to fall asleep,” she shared. “I felt like bedtime lasted forever.” But after reading our Sleep & ADHD newsletter, Megan tried a weighted blanket and a new bedtime routine—and the difference was huge!

“The first night, he still resisted, but by the third night, he was actually looking forward to his new routine,” Megan said. “The weighted blanket helped him feel calmer, and we used a visual checklist that helped take away the constant reminders.” Now, Jake is falling asleep faster and waking up in a much better mood! 

Do you have a success story? Reply and share it with us! You might be featured in next week’s newsletter!! 

Know someone who would benefit from the tips inside this newsletter? Share it far and wide and help us spread the word!!

🔥My Go-To Supplement for ADHD Calm & Focus!

If your kiddo bounces from task to task like a ping-pong ball, the right supplements can help support a calmer, more focused brain—and one of my absolute favorites is Calming Essentials! (Keep in mind, supplements are not the be-all-end-all solution for ADHD but they can offer support, especially when paired with other natural strategies like the ones we share inside this newsletter!)

Here’s why I LOVE Calming Essentials (especially for kids with ADHD):

✅ Naturally Supports Calm, Focus & Concentration – Think of it as a gentle, science-backed way to help little minds slow down and stay present.

✅ Helps Combat Stress & Overstimulation – Kids with ADHD often struggle with sensory overload and big emotions. This blend may help ease that tension.

✅ Powered by GABA & L-Theanine (Brain-Boosting Superstars!) 🧠

• GABA (gamma-aminobutyric acid) – A natural neurotransmitter that helps calm an overactive brain and may support better focus & emotional regulation.

• L-Theanine – Found in green tea 🍵, this amino acid is linked to reduced stress and improved relaxation without making kids drowsy.

✅ Kid-Friendly Liquid Formula – No pills, no battles! Just an easy-to-use liquid that mixes into juice, water, or even a smoothie. (Because let’s be real—getting kids to take supplements can be its own challenge! 😅)

🎯 Want to give it a try? Stock up today and see the difference it can make!

Cueli, M., Martín, N., Cañamero, L. M., Rodríguez, C., & González-Castro, P. (2024). The Impact of Children’s and Parents’ Perceptions of Parenting Styles on Attention, Hyperactivity, Anxiety, and Emotional Regulation. Children, 11(3), 313. https://doi.org/10.3390/children11030313

Li JJ. Children's Reward and Punishment Sensitivity Moderates the Association of Negative and Positive Parenting Behaviors in Child ADHD Symptoms. J Abnorm Child Psychol. 2018 Nov;46(8):1585-1598. doi: 10.1007/s10802-018-0421-y. PMID: 29556859; PMCID: PMC7191994.

Setyanisa AR, Setiawati Y, Irwanto I, Fithriyah I, Prabowo SA. Relationship between Parenting Style and Risk of Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder in Elementary School Children. Malays J Med Sci. 2022 Aug;29(4):152-159. doi: 10.21315/mjms2022.29.4.14. Epub 2022 Aug 29. PMID: 36101526; PMCID: PMC9438858.

Subhadra Evans, Sampada Bhide, Jeremey Quek, Jan M Nicholson, Vicki Anderson, Philip Hazell, Melissa Mulraney, Emma Sciberras, Mindful Parenting Behaviors and Emotional Self-Regulation in Children With ADHD and Controls, Journal of Pediatric Psychology, Volume 45, Issue 9, October 2020, Pages 1074–1083, https://doi.org/10.1093/jpepsy/jsaa073